AEDP Institute

Feeling Like A Man: Using AEDP to Overcome Shame and Heal Attachment Trauma with Gay and Straight Men

an AEDP TriState Seminar
at Mt. Sinai West in NYC
with Ben Lipton and Ben Medley

Perhaps with the exception of anger, emotions are feminized and shamed in our society.  For men, this has created a pernicious demand for defensive strategies of denial and dissociation that conceal underlying shame and unbearable feelings of aloneness.  As a result, men have been thwarted from reaping the psychological and social rewards of feeling one’s emotions.  The cost of this phenomenon, not only in terms of personal well-being, but also societal development, has been great.

For gay men, growing up in a world that favors and expects heterosexuality can be a doubly alienating and traumatic experience.  From a very early age, boys become aware of homophobia and heterosexism and begin to receive clear messages that being gay is not okay.  Often these boys, adolescents and, eventually, grown men are left carrying their struggles, and the pathogenic feelings attached to being gay in a homophobic world, alone.

With its specific focus on accessing and processing emotion from a therapeutic stance of affirmation and authenticity, AEDP offers the clinician theoretical knowledge and a set of operational tools particularly well suited to address the psychological needs of men, both gay and straight.  By dyadically co-creating new, positive experiences and deeply processing adaptive emotions in the context of a supportive, authentic, emotionally engaged relationship, men can recover and discover themselves.  For straight men, this experience opens the door to possibilities of relating to themselves and others with authenticity and compassion.  For gay men, this experience goes one step further by undoing the shame of internalized homophobia and allowing their True Selves to be seen, affirmed, and integrated.

Using extensive videotape from their clinical work, the presenters will illustrate specific ways that AEDP can be used to address the therapeutic needs of men that so often center on shame and aloneness.  Through the lens of AEDP theory and technique, we will first examine the ways that AEDP’s focus on healing attachment trauma provides a framework for work with gay men.  Then, we will explore the paradoxical ways in which gay male therapists, grounded in the AEDP therapeutic stance, seem to offer unique opportunities for healing the psychological wounds of their straight male clients.

You’ll Learn:

  • Men are shamed out of feeling their wired-in, adaptive emotions
  • Feminization of emotions leads to a psychological crisis for boys
  • Homophobia and heterosexism create feelings of otherness in gay children
  • Attachment trauma can occur as a result of overwhelming experiences suffered alone
  • Many gay children and adolescents are left alone with feelings of shame
  • Shame and fear of being ostracized lead boys and men to create a false self to maintain attachment bonds while suffering alone with intense feelings.
  • This dynamic is often intensified and compounded for gay boys and men.
  • AEDP helps heal attachment trauma through its specific stance, a focus on processing emotions to completion, making the implicit explicit, privileging healthy emotional risk-taking, undoing aloneness, and meta-processing of new experiences
  • AEDP provides a therapeutic opportunity for the client’s True Self to emerge

Objectives:

At the end of this program, participants will learn:

  • How homophobia and heterosexism impact our both gay and straight men
  • How to recognize and undo shame with male clients
  • How to use the AEDP stance, self-disclosure and dyadic regulation of affect to undo aloneness and foster secure connection with male clients
  • How to use the AEDP technique of metaprocessing to expand and anchor new emotional and relational experiences to help heal trauma and potentiate resilience

Meet the Presenters

Benjamin Lipton, LCSW, is a founding faculty member of the AEDP Institute.  He is based in New York City and travels nationally and internationally to teach and present AEDP to a broad range of professional audiences.  Mr. Lipton pioneered the first AEDP Advanced Core Training programs (Bay Area and Seattle) and currently co-leads the AEDP Retreat Style Essential Skills course.  His open and engaging teaching style and skill in translating complex ideas into clear and accessible learning points receives consistent praise from his audiences.  Mr. Lipton is the editor of From Crisis to Crossroads: Gay Men Living with Chronic Illnesses and Disabilities (Haworth Press) and has published many clinical articles and book chapters in psychology and social service journals over the past two decades.  His most recent article, co-authored with Diana Fosha, is on working with attachment in AEDP;  Attachment as a Transformative Process in AEDP: Operationalizing the Intersection of Attachment Theory and Affective Neuroscience.  Mr. Lipton has held adjunct faculty appointments at Columbia Presbyterian Department of Psychiatry and New York University School of Social Work and he serves on the Editorial Board of the Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services.  Previously, he was the Director of Clinical Services at Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC), the world’s first and largest HIV/AIDS service organization.  In addition to his expertise in AEDP, Mr. Lipton has training in EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Solution-Focused therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy.  Mr. Lipton is committed to the foundational principle of human development that change for the better, at every level of civilization, flourishes when people feel safe enough to be curious and take necessary risks.  He is passionately dedicated to bringing this alive in both his practice and teaching.

Ben Medley LCSW-R has a private practice in the Flatiron District, NYC where he works with individuals and couples and offers supervision to other therapists.  Ben earned his degree with NYU’s clinical social work program and is a Certified AEDP Therapist and AEDP Supervisor in Training as well as a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist.  Before private practice, he worked as a therapist in the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services outpatient mental health clinic as a member of their LGBTQ treatment unit.  In addition, Ben worked in Greenwich House’s HIV Mental Health and Chemical Dependency Programs and developed a mental health program for college students studying abroad in Florence, Italy.  He has assisted with the NY Immersion Course with Diana Fosha, NY AEDP retreat style ES1 Essential Skills Course with Ben Lipton and Eileen Russell and now the NY ES1 Essential Skills Course with Natasha Prenn.  He has also presented for the NY Ongoing Learning Community and will be co-presenting with Ben Lipton in May 2017 for the NY AEDP workshop series.  Ben just started AEDP Jumpstart-a short-term group supervision to get started showing AEDP videos and applying AEDP theory and techniques in clinical work.  Want to know more?  Ask him! (or check out his website www.therapywithben.com)

Agenda

9:00-9:15 – Welcome and Introductions

9:15-10:30 – The Emotional Challenges of Being a Man

10:30-10:45 – Break

10:45-12:30 – Using AEDP with Gay Male Clients

12:30-1:45 – Lunch

1:45-3:15 – What Gay Therapists can offer Straight Men

3:15-3:30 – Break

3:30-4:30 – Experiential Exercise

4:30-5:00 – Large Group Discussion

Fees, Credits and Registration:

  • $160
  • $145 Members only, must register online
  • $170 Walk in

Event Registration

Continuing Education

This program is eligible for 6.25 CE Hours of continuing education credit through our co-sponsor R. Cassidy Seminars. CE Credits are included in the course fee.  

Satisfactory Completion

Participants must have paid tuition fee, signed in, attended the entire seminar, completed an evaluation, and signed out in order to receive a certificate. Failure to sign in or out will result in forfeiture of credit for the entire course. No exceptions will be made. Partial credit is not available.

Psychologists R.Cassidy Seminars is approved by the American Psychological Association (APA) to offer continuing education for psychologists. R. Cassidy Seminars maintains responsibility for this program. 6.25 CE hours.

NY: R. Cassidy Seminars is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board for Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed psychoanalysts. #P-0005.   6.25 clock hours.

Social Workers 

R.Cassidy Seminars, ACE provider #1082, is approved as a provider for social work continuing education by the Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB) www.aswb.org, through the Approved Continuing Education (ACE) Program. R. Cassidy Seminars maintains responsibility for the program. Approval Period: April 15, 2015-April 15, 2018. Social workers should contact their regulatory board to determine course approval. Social workers participating in this course will receive 6.25 continuing education clock hours.

CA: The Board of Behavioral Sciences has deferred CE course approvals to APA and ASWB for its licensees. See those approvals under Psychologists and Social Workers

NY: R. Cassidy Seminars is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board for Social Work as an approved provider (#0006) of continuing education for licensed social workers. This program is approved for 6.25 contact hours live.

OH: R. Cassidy Seminars is an approved provider by the Ohio Counselor, Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist Board for 6.25 clock hours, #RCST110701

Counselors/ Marriage and Family Therapists:

CA: The Board of Behavioral Sciences has deferred CE course approvals to APA and ASWB for its licensees. See those approvals under Psychologists and Social Workers.

Other States: If your state is not specifically listed, nearly all state Counselor and MFT boards accept either APA or ASWB approval, or are reciprocal with other state licensing board approvals, such as those listed below. Check with your board to be sure. The Ohio Board includes Counselors and MFTs.

IL:  R. Cassidy Seminars is approved to offer continuing education to Marriage and Family Therapists by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation provider #168000141. 6.25 Continuing Education Credits/Hours.

NY-LMHCs: R. Cassidy Seminars is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board of Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed mental health counselors. #MHC-0015. 6.25 contact hours.

NY-LMFTs: R. Cassidy Seminars is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board of Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed marriage and family therapists. #MFT-0011. 6.25 contact hours.

OH: R. Cassidy Seminars is an approved provider by the Ohio Counselor, Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist Board for 6.25 clock hours, #RCST110701

TX: R. Cassidy Seminars is approved by the Texas Board of Examiners of Marriage and Family Therapists to provide CE offerings for MFTs.  Provider Number 151.  6.25 Continuing Education Credits/Hours.

Creative Arts Therapists

NY: R. Cassidy Seminars is recognized by the New York State Education Department’s State Board of Mental Health Practitioners as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed creative arts therapists. #CAT-0005. 6.25 contact hours.

 

Disability Access – If you require ADA accommodations please contact our office 10 days or more before the event. We cannot ensure accommodations without adequate prior notification.

Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.

To see our Refund Policy or to file a Grievance, click here.

Questions about this Workshop?

Contact Us

Event Details:

Date/Time

05/13/2017
9:00 am - 5:00 pm

Location

Mt. Sinai West
1000 Tenth Avenue (betw. 58th & 59th)
New York, NY
10019

 
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